Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
