Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I could make wine with my vomit
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
