driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
