I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
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I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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