i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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