He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
