just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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