I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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