shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
