The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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