Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
