I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
