After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
