Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
