Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
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i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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