your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
