GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i dont even know how to be here
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
