So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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