Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize