did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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