She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
