Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
