I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
