I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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