Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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