According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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