it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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