it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
