i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
