Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I need to sanitize my soul.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
