did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
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Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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