Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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