i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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