What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
