why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
