Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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