Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
do nipples grow back?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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