i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize