If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
