where am i from again
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
my being single is dangerous.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
