those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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