i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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