Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
