no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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