You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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