I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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