Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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