Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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