help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
