They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
