you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
