Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
