It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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