I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I would ride that face into the sunset
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
