I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I feel great
I just peed on a car
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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